I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize