She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize