Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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