You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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