Porn is love you can see.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
