8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Are my feet made of real feet?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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