It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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