I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
