My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
