Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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