shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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