I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
