so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
