this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
