what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
