i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
