you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
