Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
