I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
he shaved USA in his pubs
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize