K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
