someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize