sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
