erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
