thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
