Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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