1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
