I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
