im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
