I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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