Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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