im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
