Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
