I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
