I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
