I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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