do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
