Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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