so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize