and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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