she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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