Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
