Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i jhust puked up my retainher.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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