i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
