do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize