so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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