Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
