what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize