either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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