Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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