I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
