Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
