and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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