I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
