Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
