Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
