I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
