and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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