Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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