Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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